After we booked our tickets for Australia Katy spent weeks looking up things to do, while I spent weeks familiarizing myself with everything likely to bite me. After 18 days on the road, it’s worth noting that the best parts of our trip were everyday living (and drinking) with our hosts and the improvised bits that turned into mini-adventures. And nothing, to my knowledge, bit me, though I’m still checking for stowaway spiders.

Instead of a chronological recap, lets go by broad subject area.

1) The Handels!

My god, have they gone native. Full-on Crocodile Dundee accents. Pet koalas. Sara carries a 14 inch knife on her hip. They couldn’t even bother to be terrified when this plant tried to eat me.

In between working for the man and playing the didgeridoo, they managed to take us out for beers, dumplings, and other beer. It was wonderful. Personally, I think they should start renting out their guest room on Airbnb for $300 a night, but I’m glad they waited until after our visit.

2) Sport. It’s good.

We managed to catch both Aussie rules footy and rugby matches. They were great. We figured out footy within 20 minutes, and loved it. I still don’t understand half of rugby, but still enjoyed every minute. The footy players seemed like guys who were both a) fantastic and tough athletes, but b)  also very likely to have a keg tapped in the locker room at halftime.

2) Adventuring!

Well, at least by our standards. We aren’t the camping/walkabout types. I, in particular, have the view that two days without wifi counts as roughing it. But we did manage a midweek trip to Brisbane, a one day’s improvised trip to the Gold Coast, and even conned the Handels into a a day trip to The Twelve Apostles down along the southeast coastline. The last was only possible due to Jon’s willingness to drive on the left side of the road. I doubt I need to explain to any who know me that we wouldn’t have survived the first right turn if I was driving.

3) Beer, whiskey. dumplings, and donuts. And all the Gozleme.

Everywhere we went we were treated to wonderful craft beers, but the best part might have been the “hotels” we were drinking them in. Big, open, and stylish, with just the right about of kitsch-without-being-twee, these Melbourne takes on pub and bar culture are just the best. It’s probably for the best that beers are so ungodly expensive, or you might never leave. Personally, the Cherry Tree Hotel is officially our homebase bar for all future Melbourne adventures, if only because they knew then answers to all our questions (see photo below).

And that doesn’t even get into the time we ordered all the Japanese whiskey one day. And then ordered (even more literally) all the Australian whiskey the next day.

But enough about drinking. Let’s talk about the most important thing that needs to be imported back to the United States, second only to the Handels.  Gozleme (umlaut not included). Turkish flatbread stuffed with spinach and meat and warmth and joy. My god. I’m looking at you CostCo. Get on it.

4) Street Art.

I posted a bunch on Instagram. It’s really cool.

Katy looks playful, while I look like a pretentious ass, and neither of us was really trying.

5) Conclusion

Australia. You should go there. Melbourne. My god, it rains a lot in the winter. Dress appropriately. The Handels. They are just the best. The worst part about seeing them was being reminded how much we miss them. The brilliant coastal views, polemic murals, creepy cacti, lazy ass koalas, cold pints, heavenly dumplings, and hilariously extra-Australian sports  were really all just excuses to hang out with two people who just **had** to pick up and start their rock star life all over in a freaky new continent.

{Katy Addendum:  We are seriously looking forward to our next half-way-around-the-world adventure with them. We love you guys!}