I had my first tram offloading this morning which reminded me of home which reminded me of the blog and how all the handelblog fans out there must be clamoring for a new post. So for your edification (ha!) here are some random observations.

I’ve been in Melbourne for about 7 weeks now and got called on picking up the lingo for the first time. Some words and phrases seem to have wormed their way in without my consent! I find myself calling things “lovely” and saying how lovely it was to meet someone. I also plan on getting to things “straight away” and I can’t remember what I used to say instead. Other things like “How’re you going?” make so little sense to me that I don’t know how to answer them much less use them myself. I am not going anywhere? anything? anyhow? I am doing quite well though, thank you very much.

My tram commute has many similarities to my metro commute of yore including the aforementioned offloading – boo! – but it has its own new and exciting challenges too. For one thing, there are many different tram types and this isn’t old vs new metro car stuff. Some of the trams are ancient and little more than a bus on a track. Other trams are fancy and conjure up memories of The Simpsons Monorail. The seating configuration varies drastically (pics to be posted later) and if you are on anything but the very newest of trams, don’t count on knowing when you are at your stop. They don’t announce most stops, the maps don’t include all stops, and the stops are tiny for the most part so no big sign poles let you know where you are. Fortunately, my tram route mostly runs the newest trams so I’ve only missed my stop once or twice.

I’ll leave you with a couple of things that have been hard to get used to…

People here are supposed to walk on the wrong side (left) and most do, but a stubborn bunch holds on to walking on the right side as though that is the absolute correct thing to do. This is more than just the chaos of walking in a crowded place, this is everywhere – running trails where I’ve seen people run along on the right, move to the left when someone approaches from the other direction and then they go straight back to the right. Sigh.

Service industry workers, waiters, bartenders, etc., are paid a decent wage here and do not expect tips. To compare prices to the US, you have to think about what something cost with tax and tip and I never thought about the whole cost of things that way. I feel like I’ll be a better consumer when I return. No more fooling me with your artificially cheap prices! That said, I think eating out might be more expensive here. I’m just not sure.

As Sara mentioned, I had my first official driving assignment of our stay last weekend.  Luckily it worked out much better than Clark W. Griswald’s experience in London.

The adventure began with the car rental.  I rented from Hertz in the CBD because they would be open on Sunday afternoon when I preferred to return it.   I thoroughly researched my planned route from Hertz back to our apartment.  Hertz decided to throw me a curve ball though and had parked the car across the street on the 5th floor of a garage (car park here in Australia).  So, here I am trying to get used to the wrong side of the car and I’m met with what I can only call a diabolical garage design.  To get down from each floor I had to make TWO left hand U-turns to / from a super narrow ramp.  The walls were marked with others’ failures.  After a few adjustments, I make it down the first ramp and then I get to watch a guy park a BMW.  I hope it wasn’t a rental, because as he was backing it in, he raked it along the concrete pillar next to his spot.  The definitely made me a bit more methodical on the next four floors.

Finally free from the garage, I discover I have been dumped onto an unexpected street.  All of my preparation was for naught.  I manage to make a few correct turns and see the street I need to make a right on.  Then I see the sign:

I’ve been on the city streets less than a minute and I’m met with the dreaded hook turn?  NOPE.  The car park experience had left me feeling extra cautious so I made a nice safe left followed by a mid-block u-turn (Note: may have been illegal) in order to proceed on the road I wanted to originally turn right on.

Luckily the rest of the route back to the apartment was as planned in relatively light traffic.

Feeling bold, I even drove to my basketball game that night while repeating my Australia driving mantra in my head: “The right turns are the dangerous turns”.

The next morning my navigator (Sara w/ Google) put me on a course to the Mornington Peninsula.  Since I’m sure you’ve already read about our adventures down there, I won’t go into the details.

There are lots of things that are awkward about driving here for me. I tend to drive on the very left edge of the lane because since I’m on the wrong side of the car, it feels like I’m too close to the right.  The prevalence of traffic circles is much higher here, and others seem much more confident at entering them at high speed.  They don’t use yellow paint for the center line, so it can get a bit confusing if there are no other cars around.  The turn signal is on the right side of the steering well.  For this rental, I had 3 unexpected windshield wiper engagements by thinking the turn signal was on the left side.  I think that is pretty good.

One weekend of driving under my belt, it was time to return the car.  I made it all the way to the edge of the CBD when I remembered I needed to get gas.  I consulted my phone and found a gas station just a bit away from Hertz, but I’d have to again throw away all of my route preparation / memorization.  So, with a new route to the gas station quickly memorized, I proceed on course – and am met with some kind of protest march.  No idea what it was for, but a u-turn was in order and with a few left turns I’m back on course.

I arrive at the gas station and see a sign like this.  This autogas seems nice and cheap!  Unfortunately, I need unleaded “petrol” – autogas is actually liquified propane gas and a surprising number of cars here are outfitted to run on that. I proceed to pump gas while trying to figure out how to convert Australian dollars per litre to US dollars per gallon.  I give up when the pump stops.

Now to finally drop off the car.  One right turn to make and I have no trams to deal with *and* a right turn arrow.  I get to the Hertz and am left with one last extra narrow concrete driveway to conquer.

All in all, it wasn’t as hard as I remember when we visited here in 2011.  Maybe it is the mindset that if I’m going to be driving anytime soon, it is going to be on the left.  Or maybe I’m just older and wiser.